Ten Years of Becoming in New York City
No Blueprint. Just Imagination, Daydreams, and Desire.
It has really been 10 years of living, creating, surviving, and becoming in the Big Apple: New York City. The place where they say, “If you can make it in NYC, you can make it anywhere.” In 2016, I left North Carolina to create a new home, sleeping on my best friend’s couch for months. I knew I had to get uncomfortable to level up.
As an observant Pisces and natural introvert, somehow I thought I would move here and instantly work with a creative director who would show me the ropes. I quickly learned how much I had to come out of my shell, build genuine connections, and create my own opportunities.
After endless cold emails and cover letters, someone finally gave me a chance. That’s when I learned getting through the door is only the beginning – you have to eat the task every time it opens. I learned to let my weirdness, my light, and the things that make me different work in my favor. A veteran stylist named Avena once told me, “When you think you’re working hard, work even harder.” It has stuck with me ever since.
New York is the city where divas and divos have reimagined their lives through Carrie Bradshaw or found themselves inspired by JAY-Z and Alicia Keys’ “Empire State of Mind.” I vividly remember standing in front of the TV blasting the music video in 10th grade. Even then, I knew one day I would take off and move to the city.
There’s truly no place like New York. I’m convinced it’s a world of its own. What other city has pigeons walking across the street with you?
Living here has always been a love-hate relationship for a Southerner like myself. You hate the steep competition, even when you know your biggest competitor is the man in the mirror. You hate hearing an MTA conductor say, “Sorry for the delay, there’s a train ahead of us.” Rolls eyes. How is there a train ahead of us when we were just sitting at the previous stop for 15 minutes? Lmao, please!
But you love the pace. You love walking out your door and being immersed in different cultures. You love that your weird, daring, curious self can find a place here. You love that you can curse someone out if they need to be gathered. You love a slice of vodka pizza from Prince Street Pizza. And you love not having to talk to a soul, even when there’s no music playing in your headphones.
You even love and hate that if you need to cry, you can let it out anywhere. Nobody is going to ask if you’re okay. LMAO. Thank you for not bombarding me, but damn, you could’ve offered me a hug!
Nonetheless, it is a beautiful city to love and hate, where even the pleasure and pain can be damn good. You pour hard work, faith, and tears into building your life while navigating distractions that can pull you away from why you came here in the first place.
There was no blueprint, just imagination, daydreams, and desire. New York became the place where those visions were tested against reality.
One of my biggest tests came after earning my Master of Arts in Fashion Studies from Parsons School of Design and pledging Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Incorporated in Harlem. You would think after reaching those milestones I had found my way. But no. I fell into a depression while struggling to find my next role.
I interviewed with company after company – Condé Nast, Tanya Taylor, Gucci, Mara Hoffman, PR Consulting, and others. Second interviews over and over again, but nothing would stick. Eventually, I didn’t recognize the man I was becoming.
I knew I had to take a chance on myself. I returned to North Carolina for a few months to heal from burnout and regain a sense of who I was. There, I returned to what I loved most: creating. I began building The GANZY before returning to New York. That period taught me the importance of recognizing when you’ve had enough and listening when your mind, body, and soul call out for aid.
There are a lot of clichés about New York, but oftentimes clichés are rooted in truth. You hear them so much that they almost lose their meaning – until life puts you in a position to experience them for yourself. “If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.” “The city will eat you alive.” “Everybody is chasing a dream.” I had heard it all before. I just never imagined how much of it I would actually live.
I hit rock bottom in ways I never imagined. Few people knew what I was going through because I didn’t look like what I was going through. But hardship doesn’t have a look. It can happen to anyone. Life happens to everyone.
That experience reinforced something else: when life hits you the hardest, you learn who your people are, who truly supports you, and who genuinely wants to see you win.
I am incredibly thankful for the relatives, childhood friends, college classmates, professors, and even strangers who have helped me along the way. Because being “self made” isn’t really a thing. Knowing what you want and having the courage to pursue it? That part is self. But we all need someone to have our back, walk alongside us, send up a prayer, open a door, or remind us to keep going.
Those are the same lessons I’ve carried into the classroom as an Assistant Professor at Parsons School of Design and an instructor at Vogue Summer School, where I’ve taught more than 100 high school students.
Together, we challenged assumptions, questioned the fashion industry, and explored fashion as culture, identity, history, and social change. In return, my students reminded me of the power of thinking critically, leading with empathy, and creating with purpose. They reminded me why education and mentorship matter – and gave me hope that the future is in capable hands.
At its core, my survival of the fittest comes down to three principles: endurance, patience, and optimism.
Endurance is knowing when to push, pivot, or rest. Patience is understanding that waiting doesn’t mean standing still; you keep learning, preparing, and pursuing. Optimism is holding onto the feeling of what is possible – the joy, relief, and accomplishment waiting on the other side of a door that hasn’t opened yet. You have to envision yourself there before you arrive.
Everything you’ve prayed and worked for will arrive on time. Sometimes I remind myself that God is Black for sure because the blessings aren’t on your time, but they are on time.
It’s like your friend or cousin saying, “I’m around the corner” or “I’m on the way,” meanwhile they haven’t even left the house – they’re probably just getting out of the shower. Lmao.
Just like that, God’s blessings are around the corner. They may not arrive when you expect them to, but they will arrive when they’re supposed to.
Ten years later, I’m still imagining. Still daydreaming. Still desiring more for myself. The difference is that now I understand becoming doesn’t always look like progress while you’re in the middle of it.
Sometimes it looks like rejection.
Sometimes it looks like starting over.
Sometimes it looks like resting.
Sometimes it looks like surviving something you never imagined you would have to survive.
And sometimes, you don’t realize how far you’ve come until you look back at the person who once slept on his best friend’s couch with nothing but imagination, daydreams, and desire.
The universe never fails, but we can fail, learn, grow, and expand. It is always better to give our best than to never try at all.
Photographer: Shingirai Moyo @shingiraii | @shingiraicaptured
