BLACK LOVE: AN EXAMPLE OF COMFORTABILITY WITH DRE AND MITRI
Having examples of black, gay men and black, gay love are so essential, but this representation is lacking . To fill this void, photographer Kennedi “Internetbby” Carter’s lens highlighted the genuine love between Dre and Mitri , a black, gay couple. The pair were shot in an intimate 1990s inspired motel setting, clothed in oversized pants by political fashion designer Chelsea Grays and adorned with oversized hoop earrings. The aim of this concept is to focus attention to the confidence exuded by these two men who are true to their authentic selves. The inspiration for this concept also stems from black, gay youth’s battles with their sexuality.
Photographed by Kennedi Carter.
My first memory of knowing I was gay was probably watching TV with my family and hearing either my mom or sister mention that a guy in a show was cute. I remember telling myself that I thought he was cute too. Discovering that I was gay made me feel like I was different and that I couldn't fully be my authentic self around my family. This feeling of being othered mostly came from my mom who knew that I was gay before I even knew. In trying to "protect me" in her own way, for a long time she was expressing to me that she thought I was an embarrassment.
Put a finger down black mom addition:
Put a finger down if your mom used to say,
"Why do you fold your arms when you walk?"
"Why don't you walk with your hands in your pockets like the other boys?"
"Why don't you act like [insert black straight guy's name]?"
"If you keep acting like this I'm going to send you away somewhere so someone can teach you how to be a man."
Speaking for myself -- and I feel a lot of black and brown, gay men can relate, especially those from urban black and brown communities -- being openly gay and growing up in public housing isn't the norm. In this space, there's a pervasive force that urges black and brown boys and men to be hyper-masculine in their everyday lives. In an attempt to meet this expectation, I felt the need to be someone I wasn't, which ultimately followed me into my future relationships.
My learned behavior made it easy for me to look down on others who were more feminine than me and it took me stepping outside “the norm” to realize that this way of thinking wasn't okay. And it has been evident to me from my previous relationships that a lot of black and brown men don’t grow up and step outside their experiences to explore new perspectives. Don't get me wrong, we all have the right to our own preferences, whether you’re downlow (“DL”), discrete, or out (openly gay); a top, bottom, or verse; or your gender identity is labeled as masculine, feminine, or "look I'm just a regular fucking guy!" However, it is essential for us, black and brown, gay men to become comfortable with being who we authentically are.
And it is equally important to be comfortable with the person we choose to love without our inner demons getting in the way. Love is a battle, but choosing your battles wisely makes love’s journey worthwhile.
Black Love: AN EXAMPLE OF COMFORTABILITY credits: